NAZISM: the new religion of peace!

NAZISM: the new religion of peace!

Interesting news, comrades! William Kilpatrick, a far-right pamphleteer, recently published an article denouncing the idea that all religions are equal, and effectively stating that the US 1st amendment about religious freedom does not apply to Suicidal Geopolitical Warrior Cults bent on Global Domination that happen to call themselves a "religion".

How unprogressive of him! Luckily, the globalist elites (led by Merkel, Junckers, and Obama) do not agree and vehemently defend the right of certain so called "religions" to maim, rape, murder and colonize in the name of their "God".

And this brings good news for friends of Totalitarian Socialist Regimes like ourselves!

New religion in the making!

Obergruppenführer Fritz Heinzl, commander-in-chief of the long-banned and marginalised European **** Movement has announced that the NSDAP will no longer claim to be a political party, but is now officially a religion, and therefore protected from any form of criticism by the international Globalist Elites.

And indeed why not?

The ***** have a prophet (Moustachio Man), they have a holy book (Mein Kampf, by Moustachio Man) and they sure as hell have a plan for the world! No one can argue the ***** could not hold an impressive "religious ceremony" (see also: Triumph des Willens, by Riefenstahl). And just as some other peaceful religions, if everyone just does EXACTLY as they say, there will be world peace (for those still alive)!

Even more peaceful than the previous religion of peace!

Obergruppenführer Heinzl explains:

Quote:

"Now that we are finally recognised as a religion, we can start getting rid of all the slander produced by the so called "Allies". For a start: we are not just a religion. We are the religion of peace! Far more peaceful than the radical branches of Islam for example!" A string of scientific publications have now proven beyond any doubt the legitimacy of this claim: Only about 5% of the ***** were involved in direct crimes against humanity (their motives are, as of now, unclear). These were the "Radicalised *****". You can't criticise an entire group based on the actions of a few radicals, can you? The Holy Book of the Church of Nazism (Mein Kampf, by Mustachio Man) does not directly demand its readers to go about and kill non-believers (as opposed to, for example, the Quran in verses 2:191-193). If some ***** did kill people with different opinions, that was because they became lone wolf radicals. Completely random. Can happen to anyone. The Western Media were clearly biased against the German people in the 1940s, a phenomenon known as "Naziphobia". This probably caused some Germans to become "lone wolf terrorists". The prophet of the **** Faith, Mustachio Man, was a vegetarian. A vegetarian cannot be all bad, can he? On many occasions, famous party leaders like High Priest Goebbels professed the peaceful intentions of the **** faith. If a religious leader says he comes in peace, you have to believe him, don't you? Since its creation, the **** religion has lost about 20% of its territory (pre-war Germany), compare this to the expansion of, for example, Islam (expanded to about 1200% of the original territory, the Arabian peninsula). This clearly proves the lack of expansionism and the peaceful intentions inherent in the **** faith. World War II: historians clueless about motives Now that international experts all agree on the peacefulness of the **** Church, historians are completely in the dark about the motives behind World War II. One expert, the head of the Korrekt History Department of the university of Missouri, explains:"Our idea now is that some depressed German generals suddenly found themselves without jobs, or were bullied by their colleagues about the tightness of their leather pants, and then suddenly turned into "Lone Wolf Blitzkrieg Organisers". Another possibility is that the inexplicable presence of a lot of weaponry urged some young German men to suddenly (without any other reason or underlying ideology) start shooting other people. Maybe a ban on all metal tools in the western world will prevent random catastrophes like this from happening in the future. We clearly need more research - and more research funds - to examine this." In fact, the very existence of World War II is now in doubt. A completely unbiased report by the University of Tehran suggests that "the mysterious events of 1939-1945" (as it is now called in progressive circles) may have been a string of Jewish terrorist attacks and raids by American Imperialists. Obama apologises and warns about Naziphobia In light of the above, the American aggression in Europe in 1944-1945 is now receiving considerable international criticism in the UN. President Obama has already apologised for the atrocities performed by the US Army in Normandy and during the Battle of the Bulge (among many others), promising the **** religion all help in spreading their message of peace in the USA. In the words of the president:"The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of the **** faith. An international inquiry into recent violent acts of Naziphobia is being organised as we speak." Against all expectations, Frau Angela Merkel (the dear leader of the German workers and peasants) has already opposed this new **** religion, stating:"These thugs will destroy Europe. That is my job, damn it!"

Greetings,
Comrade Minitrue

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NAZISM: the new religion of peace!